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9:23 a.m. - 2012-06-02 So this year our staff is a little different from in the past. We have several new employees in the department who are, to put it mildly, eccentric. Terry constantly talks about himself, brags about how much he got done, how hard he worked, the problems he solved. Lena bitches constantly, has a hair trigger temper, and launches the F bomb several times a shift. Paul always tries to hand off work and likes to remind people that they are in his debt for some favor, real or imagined. So suddenly with so many below par people in the department I'm suddenly the Golden Child in my annual review. But I feel that it's only by comparison to Lena, Paul and Terry. They have shifted the bell curve. I haven't changed anything I do or any of my conduct, but suddenly I am outstanding by comparison. Gary included things in my review like, "I have never heard you swear and slam down the phone." Well, duh. I'm at work. I'm being paid to be polite to customers and coworkers. The fact that Lena has no self control doesn't make me suddenly a saint by comparison. "You never go on and on about how hard you work or come to me for a pat on the head." Why would I? Why would anybody? "You just do your job and don't expect any special payback or reward when you do something extra." Isn't that the Teamwork that our place of business always preaches to us? Okay, with Lena, Terry and Paul to compare me with, I'm the greatest thing going. My rating moved up one full point on a scale of 1 to 5. I'm now between a four (exceptional) and a 5 (role model), though I guarantee none of the 3 losers who make me look so good will ever see me as a role model. So was this a true employee evaluation, or just a chance for my boss to rant about his poor workers? Gary did show some common sense in one part of the review. Diversity is one of our Corporate Values. I'm all for Diversity. I think it's a great thing, a necessary thing in a civilized society. It doesn't just make us better people; it moves us forward because we allow more capable people to participate and make contributions. But Gary has to rate his employees 1 to 5 in Diversity. How do you measure a person in Diversity? Gary's solution was to give everyone a 3. I told him he should have given a higher score to L, who is gay and has an African American partner. That's two extra diversity points. Anyway, I'm glad that I'm almost a Role Model this year. So do I wish for better coworkers so I can do my job better or worse coworkers so I look better?
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