9:55 a.m. - 2004-04-07
Dead Guy Diet
I'm convinced that the Atkins diet has cut into our donut business at Bertram's, but Bertie doesn't believe me. People who come to a bookstore probably read a lot and have heard about Atkins. I wanted to take all the Atkins books out of our inventory, but that got vetoed fast. Atkins doesn't make sense. Give me a bacon double cheeseburger and hold the bun?? And Atkins is dead. These people are following a diet designed by a dead guy. I mean, Socrates lost weight on the hemlock diet, right?

I made a sign at home on my computer on my own time and brought it into the store: OUR PLEDGE TO YOU: LOW-CARB DONUTS FROM NOW ON. Bertie wouldn't let me hang it up. Claimed it would get us in trouble. I was mad for the rest of the day. Every hour or so I'd go into the back where Bertie was and make horrible faces at him, pulling the corners of my mouth with my fingers and crossing my eyes.

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